I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize