I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
