why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do vagina's smell?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
