Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize