Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize