i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i've created a new STD.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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