i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
