how can u be prego again
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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