Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
