you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
