Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He better not be in your backpack
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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