i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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