He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I want her autograph on my taint
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
