PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize