i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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