tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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