It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
