I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
