and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We need a shit load of segways right now
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
