just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Randomize
