seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
