I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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