she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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