Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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