He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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