I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
