none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
