Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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