doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
