Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
