Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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