If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
