White coat. Heels.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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