i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.