anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.