I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.