i don't like sucking hair
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
