totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
