Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize