i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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