I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
