Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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