Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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