I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
