I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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