I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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