i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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