I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
