There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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