He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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