dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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