areolas are like halos for boobs.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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