You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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