Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
