She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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