The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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