Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
