Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
