When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
