if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
