no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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