Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
