Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
