the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
