I want to make a zoo with you.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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