Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
