It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
