I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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