either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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