Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?