4 words: hood of his car
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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